Where will the Journey of Motherhood take me?

"Where will the Journey of Motherhood take you and what will the name Mom come to mean to your children?" 

This has been a trying week. I am tired, exhausted really. 

I feel as if I have entered a new world - as if real parenthood is beginning. I am watching my baby disappear.

Up to this point I have been feeding her, clothing her, loving her, praying over her, etc. But now I am beginning to see my daughter, my Beatrice emerge. This has brought insurmountable joy, but also a sense of sorrow. To realize that she is a sinner, as much as her Mommy and Daddy, is in the strangest way, heartbreaking. To understand that the default position of each of our hearts is to turn away from the very one who created us, deeply saddening.

Motherhood is beginning. I have been weighed down this week with a sense of urgency, and sense of heaviness as I ponder the role I find myself in. What does it mean to instil discipline in my little one? To train her to have self control, patience, kindness, etc? I read this quote recently and found it encouraging. "Discipline is not action taken in moments of correction but an ongoing relationship with... parent and child. Discipline is a process of training and learning that fosters moral development. It comes from the same word as disciple—one who is a learner." 

I think that defines the stage we are in right now; perhaps for the rest of my journey. We are learning, both Beatrice and I. I to be the parent, she to be the child.

The next few months promise to be challenging as I meet face to face with my daughter's emerging will. I pray, oh I pray, for wisdom, for patience, for gentleness, and above all, for an eternal perspective. 

Beatrice, I love you so my sweet little one. May you continue to bring joy to all you meet. May the Holy Spirit stir in your heart a deep longing for our Father even now as you sleep.

Isn't this a beautiful thought... "The home environment that has a mother preoccupied with heaven as much as earth, is a Mom destined to shape kingdoms."

Here are a few photos from the last month or so, the moments are truly fleeting. 

At our first Tea Party in honor of the Royal Wedding.

It was very sunny, but she is still beautiful.

I love her furrowed brow. She has her daddy's expressive eyes.

Some apple on a hot day.

Her first time in a swing...

She loved it!

At the Strawberry Festival... kissing a calf. She adores animals.

Observing the chicks...

Joy through Spinach Basil Pesto with Garlic Tops

When we were first married I didn't know how to cook at all. I truly mean this. My mother tried for years to instruct, but in my pride, I wouldn't have it.

Over the past four years I have worked hard, with comical failures along the way, and now I can manage. I am so thankful for this. Many of you know how I love to share a meal with family and friends. I believe there is something about food that draws us together, begs us to linger, and soothes our frantic souls. Now that I am able to contribute to that aforementioned food, my joy has doubled.

This past week a dear friend held a birthday party, requesting her guests bring only wine and a favorite appetizer. This pesto is that. It's not always an appetizer, of course, but became one. And one of much talk; seeing as another dear friend had given us garlic tops the day before. You can read about garlic tops here. What fun that this simple food became a conduit of laughter and birthday happiness.


Thank you Kelly for the beautiful photo, now here is my simple version of this classic recipe...



Spinach Basil Pesto with Garlic Tops

Ingredients

• 3 - 6 cups baby spinach leaves (depending on desired flavor)
• 3/4 cup fresh basil leaves
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese (freshly grated is best)
• 2 tablespoons garlic tops, chopped (can substitute 4 cloves chopped garlic)
• 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
• 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

Directions

1. Blend 3 cups of the spinach along with basil, Parmesan cheese, garlic tops, salt, pepper, lemon juice, lemon zest, and 2 tablespoons olive oil in a food processor until nearly smooth, scraping the sides of the bowl with a spatula as necessary. Add the remaining spinach and drizzle the remaining olive oil into the mixture while processing until smooth.