I have a confession...
I haven't written because I've been afraid of my own expectations... that each blog post must surpass the last. (Which might be physically impossible after my father's letter.) That I must be thoughtful, and reflective. That I should only write if I have something worth saying and the time with which to say it poignantly.
Well, I no longer have the time or the energy, and evidently this has been the week where I have discovered that my expectations are unreasonably high.
Time has flown by. Simply flown.
There is so much I had "wanted" to do, so many tasks "to complete before the baby". And now I find myself just wanting to ponder her impending arrival. To sit and feel her move within me and imagine her little heels and bottom as they shove against me.
She is coming... and quite honestly, she doesn't need anything but Adam and I. So why is it that I want to have so much accomplished? Why am I fixating on the tiniest details? Why am I so concerned with remembering something after the fact?
These days are so precious. So limited. Why am I spending them consumed with fears? Has not the Lord promised to provide? Shouldn't I be living these days, these last days, in joyful expectation?
No, the nursery has not progressed... the walls have been painted and that is all. The to-do list remains incomplete. The books have not all been read. But my child, my sweet Beatrice, is growing beautifully. I have been granted good health by my heavenly Father. And I am surrounded by phenomenal support.
Rather than ponder all that has yet to be done, may I instead reflect on this quote by Mike Mason, author of "The Mystery of Children":
"A child is a revelation from God. Prophets receive visions, mystics ponder the ineffable, great preachers deliver God's word. but the greatest revelation comes through flesh and blood. Every child is fresh, unheard-of image of God, and children keep coming and coming because the world has not yet conceived of all the fullness of God's glory."
Amen and Amen!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Our nursery JUST got finished!! Last week we hung our pictures from LOTR and Narnia. Braden doesn't even know or care. :) Beatrice will be so happy to just meet her parents. Promise. My mom gave me the best advice. She said to never choose tasks or to-dos above baby time. It sounds like life is more important than to-dos right now and that's GOOD news!
ReplyDeleteIn my 19 months of experience, I have learned that parenting is just about the most fertile ground for challenging our expectations. Consider yourself blessed that you are already convicted about this! ps. thanks for the papaya suggestion--I asked my midwife about it this morning and plan to try it out.
ReplyDeleteLauren... you and Adam are going to be the best parents to that sweet angel we are all awaiting! I've been blessed with knowing you and getting to follow along in your "expectantly living" experiences and I am so thrilled for B's arrival! I pray that when it's time for God to bless me with my first child I will have the same beauty and strength that I see in you! God bless you in these last moments before you meet your little one!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading your last ( and all previous posts) and you are waiting on precious Beatrice to arrive... I think its hard especially for the first baby to feel like you have to have everything (especially the nursery) finished and all things perfect before the baby comes... With Connor I especially felt that way and it wasnt until he was 1... yes I said it 1 did he ever spend a night in his own nursery. I was always a person of "Never will I this, never will I that..." one of those being, I will never have a child sleep in my room for more than a month more or less in the bed with me co-sleeping... but I eat my words now and I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT! Even if they are sleepless moments- because its with in those sleepless moments that I find myself watching my children sleep praying over them and praising God that he chose me to be their mother.
ReplyDeleteI also laugh at all the fancy "Gadgets" I just had to have when I was pregnant with my first, thinking there was no way I would survive w/o them... and now I am wondering where else I could have spend the money ...
Its true, all a baby needs is the two parents that brought them into this world and the love from those same parents. Everything else doesnt matter at all...
I wish I had spent more time cherishing the moments I was pregnant instead of wishing them away, especially with my first.
You are going to be a WONDERFUL mother to Beatrice and she is so blessed to have you as one!
You look absolutely gorgeous! And I am jealous of both you and Kristin with how absolutely gorgeous you both look !
Not too much longer now!