...and the Lord remembered her.

The Morning of January 22, 2010

On this day, God has tempered judgment with mercy.

It is the year of living hope, of change, of open arms. These are words spoken to me by dear friends, family and our heavenly father.

Since our hurried wedding and the subsequent death of my mother in May of 2007 Adam and I have wandered through many a wilderness, and I am sure there will be more, yet God has sustained us. We have been through dark depressions and struggled with the validity of our faith, yet He has sustained us. When it couldn’t get worse - it did, and He sustained us.

Roughly two years ago we began to try for the children we had both always desired. Month after month passed resulting in broken hearts and severed dreams. In Christ’s sovereignty we watched as our lives continued to unravel and we were able to praise Him for withholding from us until He so ordained.

As the year 2009 drew to a close I began to pray that it would also be the end to so much pain. It had been my personal year of grieving; as I walked side by side with a counselor through the death of my mother, morning each anniversary, each miserable holiday, and all the moments in-between. As I journeyed through these dark places, Adam struggled though many other trials on his own. I was more than ready to say goodbye to the grief and hello to the fullness of life I have been promised in my Savior.

As January dawned I was filled with a living hope I had never before experienced. I was drawn to the story in scripture of Hannah in 1st Samuel. I was struck by her pain and longing as she cried out to her Lord for a child; her grief was so immense that she was thought drunk and insane. I began putting my request before the Lord in a new and different way, inspired by the passion and fervency of Hannah.

…and the Lord remembered her. 1 Samuel 1:19

The start to my menstrual cycle began to draw near, and so did my gracious Lord. With each day of waiting my hope and trust grew. Then in the early hours of January 22nd I took a home pregnancy test. I had taken many before that had resulted in tears and sorrow, so after the recommended two minutes and the tiny digital words, “pregnant”, I felt the heavens exploding.

The tears and the joy were plentiful that day and the days that followed. We cried with dear friends and family who knew all too well that my precious mother is rejoicing with us in paradise.

I write this story to hopefully encourage the brokenhearted and share with you who do not know me well the graciousness of our living Savior Jesus Christ. The battles are not over. We are not through the wilderness, yet He has sustained us. To Him be the glory forever and ever. AMEN.